There Are Times When Things Do Not Go Well, Even Though We Are Trying Hard
Have you ever felt that, even though you are trying hard, things simply do not go well?
You want to do better, but you cannot do things as you wish. You want to calm your mind, but instead you become even more confused. You want to be kind to others, but you have no room in your heart to do so. You think you are doing your best, but the results do not come. I think such things happen to everyone.
When someone is walking while carrying a heavy load, if they are told, “Hold it more firmly,” it may only make things harder for them. At such a time, what they truly need may be words that say, “It is all right to put down some of your burden.”
I myself was born in another country, and after coming to Japan, I began to study Buddhism. The Buddhism I first learned placed great importance on zazen meditation, precepts, and the study of sutras—on calming the mind and drawing closer to enlightenment through one’s own efforts. For a long time, I also thought that Buddhism was a teaching about self-discipline and self-improvement.
A Teaching Directed to Me Just As I Am
However, when I encountered the teachings of Japanese Pure Land Buddhism, I was a little surprised. There, I found a teaching that says, “You are accepted just as you are.”
All of us live while carrying things that do not go as we wish. Growing older, becoming ill, parting from loved ones, having anxiety and confusion—no one can avoid these things. Not only that, there are times when even our own hearts do not move as we wish.
Honen(1133-1212), the founder of Jodo Shu, taught people like us: “Even if you cannot perform difficult practices, that is all right. Simply recite Namu Amida Butsu.”
The Nembutsu is not a phrase for becoming a splendid person. It is a word of peace and assurance: that I, in all my confusion and limitations, am held by the Buddha just as I am.
Trying Harder Is Not the Only Answer
When things do not go well, we tend to think, “I must try harder.” Yet in life, there are things that cannot be solved by effort alone. There are sorrows and anxieties that we cannot carry by our own strength alone.
At such times, I feel that the Buddha’s teaching does not simply say, “Make more effort.” Rather, it quietly speaks to us, saying, “You are all right, just as you are.”
This does not mean that we do not have to do anything. Rather, it means that there is a teaching that does not abandon me—a person who has limits even after making effort, a person who cannot live exactly as I wish.
On days when we try hard, yet things still do not go well, perhaps precisely on such days, it may be good to softly recite the Nembutsu.
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